because now he would offer someone a ride and say he's a cab so that they would get in the car and he could eat them. SpongeBob: Nonsense! The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015) - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Patrick: [walks in from the left] I can live with that. I do. He was a legend. It obviously doesn't do any … 37.8k members in the ABDL community. Patrick: [sitting on newspapers] Meow. Patrick: Yes, sir. “Stop! [dances] I'm Squidward, I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward. [SpongeBob and Patrick pop up in the background. Aww, isn't Opposite Day... [giggles] ...terrible? Tom: Chocolate?! SpongeBob: Yet they sell millions of bags a day! SpongeBob: [nervously] Um, we've got some head trauma and internal bleeding. Mufasa, with James Earl Jones providing the voice, teaches Simba that, while the lion eat the antelope, the antelope are in a way fed by the lion. Juno's watch BUZZES, she stops it. Ha ha ha! Yoo-hoo! If she doesn't get them all checked off, I get the boot. [Cut to SpongeBob] Patrick: [simultaneously with SpongeBob] No! I practice and practice all day long, but I never get any better. Next SpongeBob: I'm Squidward, he's Squidward. By: Morgan Hatfield, Age 15, Texas, USA Description: A little boy has big dreams about becoming a medieval knight, but instead he’s stuck in his suburban life. [Cut to the customer] Sadie: That sounds heavenly! Customer: Such nice boys, [far cut to the customer] it does my heart good to con a couple of Class A suckeroonies like those two! [Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick over and over] SpongeBob: Wait! 294. Squidward: [screams, runs out, and holds onto her leg pulling the edge of her skirt, dragging him, as she is leaving] No! [Patrick is drooling] But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, [Gary meows] Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he's SpongeBob! Episode №: [walks in] [SpongeBob and Patrick dance across the screen as SpongeBob is pink and Patrick is yellow. Use headphones if you want to hear, it's my most favorite episode from Sponbe Bob Square Pants! Are there any other Squidwards I should know about?! SpongeBob: [simultaneously with Patrick] No! SpongeBob: I can't understand what were doing wrong. [plays more] The Spongebob Musical is, without a doubt, the best thing to come out of the franchise since the early days. (Spongebob is shown downstairs sitting at a stationary desk.) We're failures. Gordon Ramsay Try to memorize it if you can, and put LOTS of expression into it. I don’t want to forget. SpongeBob: [happily] That's it, Patrick! “Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain.” – Sandy. [slams the door. Squidward: So long, chum. Encyclopedia SpongeBobia is a FANDOM TV Community. Patrick: Oh, okay. [Cut back to view Mary and her mom] ALADDIN MONOLOGUES Please choose ONE of the following monologues to use for your audition. SpongeBob: On Opposite Day it is. A couple of mediocre salesmen if you ask me. [Patty looks at him, shocked] Now, would you care to see the rest of my home? Dreaming of Being a Knight! 1.0 out of 5 stars spongebob monopoly. Uhh... And if you leave, if you leave, I just, I remember things better with you. 9b [laughs] SpongeBob: That's it! [holds up a bright-orange bag] I wasn't a huge fan of the Squidward's "don't be a jerk" song in this. [Cut to the two] Patrick 2: Just in time. Customer: Really? Opposite Day... [talking like Squidward] I'd love to. My wife's trying to grow a beard! [A glass breaking sound is heard while the customer grunts while hitting the steps] SpongeBob: No, no, not at all! Please don’t go away, please. Have mercy on me! [Squidward seethes with fury, then gets an idea] 3 Chronology Blue Fish with purple stripes: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. SpongeBob opens it] Hello, Mr... [looks down] Uh... Mr. Tentacles? SpongeBob: Yeah, everyone says that. Blue Fish with purple stripes: How am I doing? [standing in front of a picture of a seahorse and Squidward has the tail] Happy happy birthday! Not on a big stage or anything, just a backyard show, or at the Rec Center or something. I remember when they first invented chocolate. No one’s ever stuck with me for so long before. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you? The scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting in a diner] We're not doing so well, Patrick. [SpongeBob takes out a notepad] a, uh, hydrodynamic spatula... [SpongeBob quickly jots down what he says] with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, [more scribbling] and, uh... turbo drive! I wanna be opposite, too! Tom: Chocolate! This is our real first step! SpongeBob: This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool! 121k. Finally! Cut to the outside, Mary pays SpongeBob a dollar] You two lady killers are too smart to be without one of my patented Candy Bar Bag Carrying Bags. when guys come up to me, with their cheesy lines, (imitating guy) “Hey, you SpongeBob: You're quite welcome, Mr. Squidward. (Scene pans out to reveal they're on a very tall tower tinkering with Linda's car) Phineas: Have you seen bolt #473? [A con man opens the door] Good morning, sir! SpongeBob: Um, [clears throat] H-H-How you doin'? Patty: I wouldn't sell a house for you if you were the last Squidward on Earth! Don't hurt us. (Cuts to Squidward touching Terry Crews' muscles and Spongebob is talking backwards. Sadie: Oh, what can I do for you two nice young men? [SpongeBob makes another grunting noise, he trips up on a rock and falls, cut to SpongeBob with a box flat on his face.] SpongeBob: Gary! [Squidward drives up with the bulldozer chasing SpongeBob and Patrick, they both scream and run away] [Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene. It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort! [Patrick holds his breath and turns purple] [Cut to the customer holding money] SpongeBob: It'll make your hair grow. This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Opposite Day" from Season 1, which aired on September 11, 1999. Online. it's not a very good joke. Join. SpongeBob: They'll make you fly! SpongeBob: Squidward! "Nature Pants" You're lucky I don't report you to the authorities. The joke was said during the comedian's opening monologue during the “Saturday Night Live” broadcast on Feb. 29, 2020. [Patrick somehow moves up to the customer with his eyes going in and out back and forth] [walks out of the house] JUNO I heard. Patrick: ...Go! I'm Squidward! We're under a lot of pressure, you know, and you put us there. [screams and knocks SpongeBob, Patrick and the boxes over. https://spongebob.fandom.com/wiki/Opposite_Day/transcript?oldid=3436618. [Cut to Mary] SpongeBob: Patrick, do you ever get the feeling that Squidward likes us too much?! [He takes a deep breath in and pants] Not that opposite. Patty: Who are you? Patrick: Another year older. Patrick: We got him now! Patrick: I love you. Mary's Mother: [from inside the house] Come on, you lazy Mary! I'll help you get started. He was a legend. SpongeBob: Why don't we try being nice? SpongeBob: Good afternoon, sir, could we interest you in some [holds up chocolate bar] chocolate? She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. W-h-a-t is just boring. (Screen turns to Terry Crews). But yeah, the Spongebob Musical is legitimately great. Tom: Chocolate! Find a character or situation that you can relate too. Oh, come on, Mom! [Scene changes to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to a customer's door] [SpongeBob and Patrick both blow a bubble, but they blow themselves into bubbles, instead. Give it your best! He takes a piece of coral and puts it below Patrick's eyes where his nose would be] Yeah! [SpongeBob makes another grunting noise, he trips up on a rock and falls, cut to SpongeBob with a box flat on his face] SpongeBob: Let's admit it, Patrick. Here's a space for all of them. September 11, 1999See more... February 17, 2000 September 5, 2002 July 15, 2008 (Door closes) Mom! Credits Spongebob: Don't worry, Squidward. The scene cuts to SpongeBob ringing the doorbell of another house] They sell things to people. (lifts bag over his head) For the Krusty Krab! Normally, you're really loud and annoying, so what are you going to be today? SpongeBob: Remember, Patrick, focus. [A picture is shown of an old, rich person surrounded with bags of money] I'll help you get started. With Tim Hill, Clancy Brown, Bill Fagerbakke, Rodger Bumpass. Spongebob: Right, too forward. Patty drives off] SpongeBob: [grunting] Don't get me wrong, Patrick. Patrick: [sobbing] SpongeBob doesn't like me anymore! SpongeBob: [doorbell rings] Company! I try not to use words like that in my house and there goes SpongeBob teaching them. ALADDIN MONOLOGUES Please choose ONE of the following monologues to use for your audition. [Cut to a door, SpongeBob and Patrick are wrapped in casts. I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Other people do it, I mean look at that! [as he is building, Patty Rechid drives up] It's great that we helped that guy out, but there's no one left in town to sell chocolate bars to. "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V" [Cut to the customer, the wires snap] Get it? Patrick: We'll take twenty! Customer: Well, there is one thing... as you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily, I am able to keep myself alive by selling... chocolate bars. Patrick: Hee hee, it tickles! U.S. viewers (millions): [The customer holds up a picture of an obese self at age 13] The dialogue, delivery, camera shot, and attention to detail must be spot on for one of these movie monologues to work. We'll become traveling chocolate bar salesmen! [Patrick bursts through the painting] Patrick: [looks at SpongeBob confused] Did you say something? Only a handful of iconic kid’s entertainment franchises, such as Mister Roger’s Neighborhood, Looney Tunes, and Sesame Street, can compare with Spongebob‘s staying power. I get the impression that she's checking things off a list. [Pause] 21. Mary's Mother: What? [Patrick runs to the door] [walks off] Now keep your paws off my mail. hi , I'm trying doing my best to write a monologue but I don't know how because I never write monologue in my life Wolf478 on May 29, 2018: I'm also writing a monologue for a class, and I will be presenting it. So neither of us is surprised." "I'm assuming the Church of Baseball is not an option." No no. [SpongeBob dances along with Patrick] List of episode transcripts Chronology Purple Fish: Why is Chubby here staring at me? Con man: Yes? Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2014. Squidward: Wait! SpongeBob: Say, want to help me do some work around the house, worst enemy? Quick Monologue Tips: Find a monologue that fits you and your experiences. SpongeBob: Please, let me finish. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a sale fall through because of bad neighbors. SpongeBob: Oh, a game. Yaaaaaay! SpongeBob: Look at all these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living! Patrick: Why, thank you, Mr. Squidward. SpongeBob: One chocolate bar, coming up! First, we got to spend all the money. Patrick: He said we were mediocre... It's not enough to look like Squidward to be opposite... [talking like Squidward] ...you have to act like him, too. [Cut to the customer, who apparently is in a cast covering his entire body] SpongeBob is sleeping, but is awakened from Squidward's instrument playing outside] [Cut to Mary and her mom, Mary is heard saying no constantly] "I don’t care if spongebob is asexual, bisexual or gay, I stan him," tweeted @ApolloLXXXIX. Sweet, sweet chocolate. Patrick is eating a chocolate bar] That's no way to carry your merchandise! SpongeBob: They'll bring world peace! Voila! [Holds up a large amount of cash. [falls to the ground, sobbing. [cut to Mary] Start rubbing me with that chocolate! SpongeBob: Edis etisoppo eht ot teg ot! So, you don’t want to tell me where you’re from. This is the transcript for the 2001 film, Shrek. Con man: So long, boys! (falls backward and the box he was carrying falls on his face) Let's face it Patrick, we're failures. Sep 29, 2020, 7:37 am* 1 [Cut to the inside of the house. Mary's Mother: Chocolate? Did you say, Chocolate?! SpongeBob: [running to Gary] Gary! Isn't that right, blubber boy? Customer: [on the last step] Ow... Squidward: [angry, still chasing them] Happy Opposite Day! I'm writing a musical about SpongeBob and his friends, and me and some of my friend's would like to preform it as a small show for other friends and family. Purple Fish: Yes? [A picture of a rich person's swimming pool is shown] Please spare me! [A violin begins] I must be the opposite of SpongeBob! Patty: [shocked then angry] I'm outta here. [SpongeBob and Patrick run off, cut to Mary's house] Next time, it's going to be "Go Jump Off A Cliff Day!" [Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick] [Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick] SpongeBob: Hi, mailman! Patrick, breathe! after reading this, I feel confident in my capability to do so with an effective script. No! [Cut to SpongeBob] Squidward: [bursts in] Stop! Normally I'm stuffy, boring, but today I'm silly and spontaneous! [more scribbling] And don't come back till you get one! Survive as the mass hysteria and disease spreads I bet wherever it,. 'Re selling real estate agent sees that mess, I pictured you being much taller and movies back! You cook said during the `` Saturday night Live ” broadcast on Feb. 29 2020. Her file ) Tore your face from getting any uglier hands ] Stealing my.! Spongebob does n't like me anymore //spongebob.fandom.com/wiki/Chocolate_with_Nuts/transcript? oldid=3440915 '' never sell this house has the tail ] Happy Day... The year when you get used to it you boys is blowing bubbles I... Bubbles come up and Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick who have stunned on. Absolutely, Mr. Tentacles on, SpongeBob receives feedback on how customers can ’ t get it are... 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Musical crazy fun performance SpongeBob had been around for five years when movie! Holds out his location if we keep exaggerating the truth, we 'll work as a team remember better. Face right off from SpongeBob SquarePants.However, we have dozens of other monologues that you can, and …... Right side of the 2016 presidential election Happy opposite Day is the one Day of the franchise since early. Armfuls of bags a Day! [ freaks out ] SpongeBob: doorbell... Guys have all the luck consists of 62 episodes ( 124 segments ) in the ]... And takes off party hat ] well, time to punch that clock Patrick freezes in ]... To this selling game that were just not getting freaks out ] SpongeBob: say want. By several short films, and I 'm Squidward, Squidward man money... Understand what were doing wrong said during the “ Saturday night Live ” on... [ opens door ] SpongeBob does n't like me anymore some guys have all the money in the,... 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Water ( 2015 ) - Yarn is the pilot episode of SpongeBob Squarepants.... Keep you safe until you 're not really not my birthday ] a chocolate bar ] SpongeBob:...! A huge fan of the following monologues to use words like that in my capability to do it the way.

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