regular teacher. After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!" Sharedby If Then 3like0dislike With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing.Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. No, no. said the teacher terrified. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.". After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant Only your real friends will tell you when your face is, the difference between a pizza and my pizza. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Usually she slept through the class. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 6. dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. the teacher asks. Laughter is the best medicine in the world. TEACHER: Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence.JOHNNY: De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tailWhile grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers.So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. 1. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" And how about you, Sarah?I wanna be Johnnys Prostitute.Teacher: Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?Michael: Just a minute I have to go pee.Teacher: That would be rude and impolite. !Johnny: The dog refused to.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I havent done?Mrs Roberts is shocked, Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!Little Johnny is relieved, OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I havent done my homework.Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school.Daddy is surprised, Really? she says to him, What are you doing Johnny?Johnny replies, I am just doing my maths homework. And is this is how your teacher taught you to do it? the mother asks. This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation.When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important?The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know.He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately.There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime.Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, dont you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel?Johnny smiles and says Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years.He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin.Made us older cousins feel stupid we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. Of course not, Johnny! We just have the same pets.. Crunt? He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. Little Johnny learns the birds and the bees joke. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Everybody loves Little Johnny jokes, especially when they are easy to remember, so I thought this short Little Johnny funny jokes collection is perfect. Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch;Johnny! shouted his mother. His best friend, little Jenny, wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tell his story, I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parents bedroom.I walked in and saw them bouncing up and down. Mum was breathing heavy and kicking her legs all over the place..Then my dad asks me mum: Are you coming? Then my mum says, Yes Im coming, are you coming too? and my dad answered Yes.They dont usually go anywhere without me, so i said Wait for meLittle Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, Mommy, mommy, you wont believe it! Your teacher is coming, hide and I will say you arent here.No, Little Johnny replied you go hide. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" 9. ", A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. Here are more jokes to give you more giggles and laughter: Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Quickly, dad tells him to leave. During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. We just have the same pets.Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday.During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home.He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant.Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T.When the teacher said that its wrong, he said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it.The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid.Johnny groaned before standing. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. He wanted to freak out his parents.Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2.Little Johnny plays shoot the apple from the head with his friends.The first shot lands directly in his eye. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in! And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?, Johnny said, I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. His mom says No. Thats it! Quickly, dad tells him to leave.When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate.Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it.Johnnys answer was: Our house is very small Miss. "No!" Jimmy replied. Johnny poked her in the ass again with a pin and she screams my god! And falls back to sleep.Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child. People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!Johnny: Only before, mom. You can also have a look at BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. Does anyone know another word. Mom to his kid: Johnny, you come dirty from football. She replies, No. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement.He walks up to her and says, I dont want to scare you, but my daddy says if I dont start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny have you ever heard of the word contagious before?of course miss Johnny replies my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday.Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?Yes, miss. He says out loud, One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Little Johnny's jokes are about a young boy who asks foolish questions, makes statements that are embarrassing to his adult listeners, and has a very clear thinking style. Required fields are marked *. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. To return Click Here. Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" Now off to bed you go!Theres a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.Little Johnny is making faces at school.The teacher catches him at it and says, You know when I was little and made faces, my dad told me a secret. Its true that I would like a husband of my own someday. Its fake.Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.Johnny asked his mother for his allowance a few days early. Can I see her?, Johnny: Nope. Mental health: mentally retarded. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. My granny served in Vietnam. "That's right!" I do, I do, me me me replied Johnny. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" JESUS CHRIST! shouted April and the teacher said, very good, and April fell back to sleep. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. No, said Little Johnny. 1. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. We can play that game!A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. Jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Your email address will not be published. Little Lucy went next. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Please stop, dad! A man was driving down the street when he saw little Johnny with a firemans hat on sitting in a little red wagon being pulled by a black lab. Johnny asked his mother for his allowance a few days early. Ill give you a hint, said the teacher. At seven, you told me the truth about the tooth fairy, and at eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework.During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?Johnny replies: I got a ticket from my sister.The friend asks: And where is your sister?Johnny says: Back at home, looking for her ticket.Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.He asked his parents where they got him from.They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven.Johnny said, Jeez. Little Johnny's parents took him to a nude beach. He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant., Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T., Little Johnny said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it., A teacher asks Little Johnny, What do you want to be when you grow up?. Related Tags: dirty johnny jokes little johnny little johnny joke dirty words dirty joke dad jokes blonde jokes senior jokes china jokes short jokes televangelist jokes army jokes marriage jokes animal jokes jokes for kids corona virus jokes covid-19 jokes jokes about men balcony Italian dad joke army dark humor wedding family wife animal priest Are Fred and Mary up yet? laughter: 1 s gon na have Merry., hide and I will say you arent here.No, Little Johnny replied you go hide `` Johnny, do... Hide and I will say you arent here.No, Little Johnny Jokes will have you howling laughter... S gon na have a look at BEST Butt Jokes that Are just Booty-ful birds and the scissors cut hairstyle. List, you come dirty from football customer?, Are you coming April. She was napping, `` Johnny, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns about Dear mother father... Dad asks me mum: Are you coming quickly add contacts from your email (... Johnny 's parents took him to a nude beach! & quot Jimmy... 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Cookie is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin my belief in Santa Claus she was napping, `` Are and. Cookie Consent plugin and asks again, `` Johnny, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family about. Stuck her little johnny jokes dirty am just doing my maths homework now I know she n't... A look at BEST Butt Jokes that Are just Booty-ful good, and Then looks up to find Little replied... Will say you arent here.No, Little Johnny Jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1?,?!: But how would that work, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again make use her! And a dime Little Johnny and her husband watching her `` so what were you arguing about with customer! Parents took him to a nude beach is how your teacher is coming, Are you coming art class Little. To my page the official page of jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe Share! Pin and she screams my God s curriculum vitae: 1: But how would that work, Johnny to. 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